


we're branches in a stream

by blackkat



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [37]
Category: Bleach, Naruto
Genre: Crossover, Crushes, First Meetings, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 23:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: “Kid, this is Kurosaki Ichigo,” Kūkaku says, and there's something crafty in her expression that makes her look far too much like Urahara for comfort. “Ichigo, this is Uchiha Obito, resident ninja.”“Ninja?” Ichigo repeats, dropping the attempt at politeness in favor of incredulity. “You mean like aninjaninja?”





	we're branches in a stream

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt on my Tumblr: Other Anon gets what I'm sellin. ;D Two Good Kids who deserved Better in EACH OTHER, because canon fucked them over HARD. Imagine how things could have gone if Obito HAD died before Zetsu could get to him. I think I remember you wrote a short fic of him ending up in the Rukongai, but imagine if he'd fallen in younger. That shinobi training that has him skeptical af of the Shinigami, & even more indignant about them not HELPING the poorer areas. Imagine if Ichigo & co met him when they drop in!

“You want us to _launch ourselves out of a canon_?” Ichigo squawks. “Are you _insane_?”

Kūkaku raises an unimpressed eyebrow, then leans in and brings her elbow crashing down on top of his skull. Ichigo yelps, reeling back with his hands clutching his head, and Kūkaku snorts, amused.

“Don’t be a pussy,” she says dismissively. “This is the only way through the barriers now that the Seireitei has raised them. You’ll be fine. Or you’ll end up splattered against the shields like a bug on a windshield, but worrying isn’t going to change that.”

Ichigo has _had it_ with these insane, ridiculous people who don’t seem to understand _basic logic._ Though he probably should have expected it from one of Yoruichi’s friends, given that the cat is friends with Urahara, too.

He’s just opening his mouth to tell her that, in greater detail, when there's a rapid clatter of footsteps on the stairs. A moment later the door flies open, and Ganju stumbles in, breathing hard.

“He’s back!” he cries, clinging to the door to stay upright. “Sis, he just got back a few minutes ago—urk!”

Kūkaku boots him out of the way. “Well,” she tells Ichigo, grin sharp around the edges. “Maybe there's another option after all.”

Mystified, Ichigo nevertheless follows her, stepping around Ganju’s wheezing form and taking the steps quickly. She’s already in the front hall when he manages to catch up, and there's a boy who looks about Ichigo's age with her, leaning against the wall as he tugs his sandals off. One has a broken strap, knotted messily around his foot to hold it on, and he’s grimacing, trying to undo the knot even as he looks up at Kūkaku.

“—had to crawl through the tunnels to get out,” he’s saying. “The bastards locked almost everything down once the gate was attacked. Do you have any idea how hard it is to lug a hundred pounds of rice through waist-deep water?”

Kūkaku just looks amused. “You got out, didn’t you?” she retorts.

The boy rolls his eye. The left one is covered by a slanted piece of cloth, clearly an old wound, and Ichigo has to swallow a little at the sight of the deep, twisting scars carved into the right side of his face, also old. He’s handsome, though, messy dark hair pulled up in a tail that brushes his shoulders and bare arms leanly muscled.

“Of course I did,” he says, like he’s insulted by the very idea. “They’re _Shinigami_.”

In that tone, it sounds like a synonym for _stupid_ , and Ichigo can't help the sound of sharp humor that slips out.

Instantly, the boy spins, kunai in one hand and the other reaching for the shakujo leaning up against the wall. Ichigo steps back, because that’s the reaction of someone who’s been snuck up on too many times, and he doesn’t quite raise his hands, but he keeps his posture as unthreatening as possible with Zangetsu strapped across his back.

“Kid, this is Kurosaki Ichigo,” Kūkaku says, and there's something crafty in her expression that makes her look far too much like Urahara for comfort. “Ichigo, this is Uchiha Obito, resident ninja.”

“ _Ninja_?” Ichigo repeats, dropping the attempt at politeness in favor of incredulity. “You mean like a _ninja_ ninja?”

He doesn’t even see Obito move, but in half an instant he’s on his back, Obito crouched with one knee braced on Ichigo's chest and his kunai resting at his throat. “A _ninja_ ninja,” Obito agrees smugly, and the curve of his smile is sly. “You’d be the person who hacked off Jidanbō’s arm, then?”

Ichigo wills himself really, really firmly not to blush. This isn’t a fair position, especially when it feels perfectly clear that Obito isn’t actually going to kill him. This is just grandstanding, far more so than his fight against Rukia's brother and his lieutenant.

“You're even faster than Byakuya,” he says.

Obito scoffs, sitting back a little, and wow, that’s not fair, either. Ichigo's had a midget living in his closet for the past few months, there is no way he can handle _this_ , even with Kūkaku watching. “Of course I'm faster than that bastard. A shunshin beats shunpo every time.”

Ichigo doesn’t even pretend to understand that. Thankfully, before he has to come up with a response beyond _you might want to move before you find out firsthand how bi I am_ , Kūkaku snickers and reaches down, hauling Obito off of Ichigo by his ponytail. He yelps but doesn’t try to fight her, and she sets him on his feet and folds her arm across her chest, looking at him narrowly. “Obito.”

Obito eyes her warily, taking two steps back to get out of range, and Ichigo scrambles to his feet and does the same on instinct. Kūkaku is even more terrifying than Jidanbō, and Jidanbō was twenty feet tall at the _least_.

Able to sense their fear, Kūkaku just grins at them both. “You know, you're about a hundred and  fifty-six weeks behind on your rent.”

“ _Rent_?” Obito yelps. “What the hell? You’ve never asked me to pay you rent!”

Kūkaku waves that off like it doesn’t matter. “I thought it was implied,” she says breezily, though her smile is mean and full of teeth. “Three years is a long time to keep a roof over your head, you know, and to feed you, clothe you, get you connections throughout the Rukongai and Seireitei…” She trails off meaningfully.

Obito visibly grits his teeth, swallows down a burst of temper, and fixes the fireworks maker with a dark look. “I take it you want something?”

“Good boy!” Kūkaku says cheerfully, good mood restored. “Get Ichigo, Yoruichi, and their friends into the Seireitei undetected and I’ll wipe your slate clean.”

“Yeah, until next time you need to manipulate me into doing something,” Obito says sourly, and adds a muttered, “Old hag,” under his breath that even Ichigo, standing right next to him, can barely hear. Ichigo manfully resists the urge to snort, mostly because he knows what Kūkaku will do to them if he does.

Thankfully, Kūkaku is already halfway down the hall, headed for her sitting room. “Tell me when you’ve got everything together,” she calls over her shoulder, gives them one more smirk, and disappears into the room.

“Gods, what a _witch_ ,” Obito says, exasperated. He eyes Ichigo for a moment, and when Ichigo raises a brow at him he flushes, ducking his head, and reaches down to slice through the strap of his sandal with the kunai. Kicking the other one off as well, he steps back out through the door, then hesitates. “I, uh, have to make a few deliveries,” he says, and meets Ichigo's eyes like it’s a challenge. “It would be easier with some help, and then we can leave sooner.”

Ichigo is all for rescuing Rukia as soon as humanly possible, regardless of what Urahara said about tradition and bureaucracy leaving them with several weeks’ leeway. “Fine,”  he agrees, and follows Obito out into the yard, where sacks of rice and two baskets of vegetables and fruits are stacked haphazardly.

He blinks, uncomprehending. When Obito said _deliveries_ , he’d thought packages, not…food.

“Most souls don’t need to eat,” Obito says, and there's a flush high up on his cheeks. “But if they have higher reiatsu levels, they can starve just like a living soul. The shinigami have plenty, so I just…liberate them of some of the extra and hand it out.”

That is. That is just _not fair_ , Ichigo thinks, despairing, but he picks up one of the sacks anyway, takes the basket with the vegetables, and tries to not let his ears turn red when Obito gives him a thankful smile.

“So you're a _Robin Hood_ ninja, you mean.”

“Well, you look like someone set your head on fire, so shut up!”


End file.
